


To Watch the Sunrise

by C_R_Scott



Category: Batman - Fandom
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-14
Updated: 2011-05-14
Packaged: 2017-10-23 08:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/248330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_R_Scott/pseuds/C_R_Scott





	1. Prologue

Tamara Fox had been a large part of Tim Drake's life for the better part of two years now. Because of the persistent meddling of one obnoxious reporter, they had become good friends while pretending to be engaged. Later on, he discovered that there were some unintended perks to this situation he'd been forced into. The main benefit he would discover was that since Tam already knew about his double life, but was a "civilian" herself, it provided a much needed outlet over the years to have someone he could spend time with outside of the Incorporation with all its uniforms, masks, and crime fighting. It was nice. It was comfortable. It was normal.

It was a chance to rediscover life beyond the mask.

Somewhere down the line, when Tim wasn't looking (when he wasn't even trying for that matter), he'd started falling in love with the smart, sassy college girl from the good, stable family. Pretending to be a couple for the press and society gossips had somehow turned into the real thing. However, if someone asked him when it all started, when he realized that Tam was more than just a friend, he'd be at a near total loss for words. There were a number of possible moments to choose from...

Perhaps it was during that one December day they shared together during the previous year. It was a seemingly normal winter day that had started with an insane amount of trudging through knee-deep drifts in the snowy wooded acreage around Wayne Manor. At Tam's unusual insistence, they'd spent nearly two hours in the freezing cold gathering enough mistletoe from the surrounding trees to effectively canvas every floor of Wayne Tower, from entrance to penthouse. She'd said she had just wanted to spread a little holiday cheer, but Tim knew that the mischievous gleam in her eyes meant she had something more than cheer on her mind. Still, he didn't have a clue as to what the girl was really up to... That was, until he ran into Bruce Wayne's youngest son right as he was leaving a board meeting.

Damien Wayne and Timothy Drake had nearly collided with one another at the elevator. The younger boy was in a furious, almost murderous rage. The glare he shot Tim might have been intimidating to the elder brother, were it not for the fact that Damien's face was covered with a multitude of varying shades of lipstick prints. Tim somehow managed to hold his composure as he stepped into the elevator to ride it the rest of the way up to the penthouse they shared with the rest of their family. Any hold he had on that composure was lost completely when he later saw the videos from the security cam feeds of Damien attempting to maneuver through the building while trying (and failing) to avoid all the random women caught up in the holiday spirit who ambushed him under the leafy green sprigs.

Far as Tim knew, the little demon never figured out who actually set the whole prank up. When Damien had interrogated him on the matter (after washing off all the lipstick and once Tim was able to look at him for more than two second before dissolving into snickers), he could honestly say that it wasn't his idea. He admitted to being a lackey in the scheme, but not its ultimate mastermind. That honor belonged to Tam, and he wasn't about to give her up to his little brother. After the prank she'd just succeeded in pulling, he wasn't stupid enough to betray her for fear of retribution. Besides, the laughter and memories it gave him had been her very first Christmas present to him.

Maybe the moment in question happened a little later, a month after that when Tim, as Red Robin, had taken a break during his nightly patrol to stop by the piano bar where Tam occasionally played when she wasn't busy with school or work. He knew she played the piano. She told him she'd been playing since she was five. However, he'd never seen her perform before. Out of curiosity, and because it happened to be a slow night for crime, he had Oracle track down the address of the place where Tam played so he could stop by for a peek.

That bitterly cold January night was the first time he'd ever seen her in formal attire. She had worn an elegant black velvet evening gown with immaculate makeup and her hair had been done up exposing her long elegant neck. That night she played Chopin's Nocturnes at a magnificent grand piano. Wrapped in the warmth of the bar and the music, the Red Robin listened and watched while hidden in the shadows of the rafters high above the stage. Tam looked almost otherworldly in the dim mood light of the darkened bar as the passionate strains of music flowed from her fingertips and wound around his heart. He never told her, but that night was the first time she stole his breath away. Especially when she played the piano, he found he could lose himself for hours listening to her music... So much so he had to make it a point never to stop by on nights where he knew he needed to be focused on his work.

Eventually, she learned that he stopped in to listen to her from time to time. She had been so surprised. Not even her family knew that she played. She'd kept it a secret from them for her own reasons. He told Tam where to look, and at the beginning of her sets from that point on she'd glance at that corner of the rafters to see if he was there. She never told him, but the owner of the piano bar said that occasionally, on those nights when Tim secretly visited her, Tam's music would sound more heartfelt and beautiful than normal.

Then again, maybe the moment where everything just clicked was during a stormy spring night just a few short weeks ago, when he stumbled onto the balcony of the apartment she now lived in, just returned from a long mission overseas. Tim was sick from exhaustion and suffering a high fever. He'd come to her home because he promised to see her when he returned. To say that she was upset was an understatement. Still, she'd cared for him, forced him to rest for the remainder of the evening and well into the next day, skipping both work and her classes at Gotham University.

A couple of days later, she made certain to berate him soundly when she was sure he was well enough to stand the lecture and the blows from the pillow she grabbed to beat him with. If he remembered correctly (and fondly), the tirade ended abruptly when the two of them tumbled onto the sofa as he'd tried in vain to disarm her. When they found themselves tangled up in each others' arms, not quite certain how they got there, one thing ultimately led to another...

In the end, it didn't really matter to Tim "when" it all happened. Yes, being around Tamara made him happy, made him feel more like "Tim Drake" than he'd been in years. However, the side of him that wore the mask and the uniform night after night was far from pleased.

That darker, more paranoid aspect of him whispered in his mind with his adopted father's deep ominous tones and warned him, in no uncertain terms, of every horrible, torturous, potentially deadly thing that could happen to her if he continued in this illusion of a relationship. What little sleep he got these days was haunted by the nightmares of the suffering that could come to Tam at the hands of all his worst enemies. It wasn't as if he had to stretch his imagination that far to bring the images to mind. He knew simply from real, first-hand experience. The closer he got to Tamara, the stronger his affection for her grew, the greater and more all-consuming the fears became.

She wasn't like Stephanie or Cassandra or even half the other girls he knew in his life. She wasn't a meta with a collection of natural superpowers or someone trained in a multitude of deadly martial arts. She was just an ordinary girl who went about her normal days without having to worry about fighting super villains or somehow averting catastrophic world-shattering events on a regular basis. How could he, in good conscience, allow her to get even more tangled up in this dangerous life of his?

He'd already lost so many people he loved by horrible, violent means.

His mother…

His father…

And even though a number of them would eventually come back, Tim could often do little more than watch as many of his closest friends and allies died in the line of duty, including the original Batman, Bruce Wayne, himself.

Eventually, after weeks of brooding and analyzing the situation as logically as he possibly could, with a heavy heart Tim Drake decided that for the sake of protecting the woman he'd grown to love he would have to step completely out of her life.


	2. To Watch the Sunrise Chapter 1  Tim POV

How many nights have I spent over the last two years listening to Tam's beautiful music like this? Sneaking into the rafters of the piano bar she played in every other Wednesday night had become a ritual for me. I would wait with baited breath from the shadows high above the black grant piano for her appearance. When she finally made her way to the stage, the patrons of the upper class nightclub barely even noticed her arrival. They'd be too caught up with their drinks and idle conversations. I'd notice, though. I always noticed. How could I not when she stepped from the shadows into the soft mood light dressed like that?

During the daylight hours she was either all business or all college student. When she was on the clock, she was straight laced in conservative suits to give off the air of corporate confidence. When she needed to be on campus, it was whatever could be thrown together in five frantic minutes because she'd overslept by thirty and needed to be out the door in ten. However, on two Wednesday nights every month, Tamara Fox took meticulous time with her appearance. She would have her hair done up by her favorite stylist, and she would dress in one of several evening gowns she owned. The transformations for these two nights a month would be so complete, so unlike the personas she wore during the day, that it would take my breath away every time I saw it. Then, when she sat down before the grand piano and began to seduce strains of Chopin and Rachmaninoff from the elegant instrument, her music would steal away the rest of me.

Tonight, though, my heart was too heavy to be stolen. Knowing that this might be the last night I would hear her play weighed heavily on me and kept my mind grounded firmly in the reality of the now, instead of the dreams of what could possibly be. I couldn't afford to dream like that anymore. Not about her. So for two hours I sat there in the shadows, eyes closed as Chopin's Nocturnes washed over me, all the while repeating silently to myself all the reasons why it was better if Tamara wasn't a part of my life... How it was the only way to keep her from being hurt by the evils of the world that had already taken or tainted nearly everything and everyone else I loved.

She met me on the rooftop when her sets were done, as we'd done so many times in the past. Tam's face lit up when she saw me in our usual spot, a place right behind a set of air conditioning units that provided a perfect blind spot from all cameras in the area and any potential onlookers from the street.

"You made it!" she'd exclaimed as she rushed forward and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm so glad. I was afraid you wouldn't be able to when I heard the news about Killer Croc's escape on the tv."

My own arms pulled her closer to me and I just held her. Behind my cowl, my eyes were closed and I was trying to commit as many things to memory as I could. The scent of her hair... The soft warmth of her body against mine... The sound of her voice... I was also repeating to myself the same mantra that'd been running circles in my mind most of the evening, that this was going to be for the best, no matter how much it hurt either of us.

"Robin?" she said tentatively, remembering that it's what I had asked to be called when I was in uniform, even if we were alone. "What's wrong?" She stiffened in my grasp. I almost smiled. Tam always had this sense about her when it came to what I wasn't saying. It was as if were fluent in reading my body language. It was one of the things I appreciated about her. It's one of the things I know I will miss the most.

With a deep sigh, I gently extracted myself from her embrace and there, in the shadows of the city we both called home, proceeded to explain why it was I could never see her again.

Tamara stood there in stunned silence, as if she didn't quite believe what she was hearing. I could see her soft brown eyes begin to take on that shine that comes from tears rising up. Seeing that makes my own chest tighten, and I knew I couldn't stay there any longer. "This is for the best," I told myself and her softly, my voice thick with grief. "Things will be better this way." Then, with my head bowed, I began to turn away. "Goodbye, Tam."

The deed had been done. My head hurt, and my heart felt like it was a lead weight in my chest. I couldn't stay here any longer. I didn't want to be here when the realization of everything finally came crashing down on her. My resolve on leaving her was already paper thin as is. So I went to the edge of the rooftop and began fumbling with my grappling gun so that I could leave. Maybe if the Fates decided to show a little mercy, they'd hand me a slew of criminals to beat the tar out of till sunrise. Perhaps if they were feeling especially generous, they'd send me a mission that would take me off-world... or at least out of the country...

"No."

The whisper was small and soft and I almost didn't catch it. I lifted my head and turned it slightly. "Hm?"

"No!"

The element of surprise is a powerful tool. Bruce taught me that. It was one of the first lessons he instilled in anyone he trained personally. These days, after everything I've lived through, it took a lot to surprise me enough to throw me completely off my game. Tonight... "a lot" consisted of being emotionally compromised when the woman I had just broken up with decided to grab me by the cape and suddenly put all her weight into pulling me away from the roof's edge.

Being effectively clotheslined by your own cape is a very disorienting thing. As I awkwardly fell back onto the unforgiving rooftop, I heard my grappling gun go skittering wildly across the cement. When I tried to sit up, I was roughly shoved back down before I could get my bearings and had the wind knocked out of me when someone sat down right on my stomach.

"Take it off!"

"What?" I didn't think I heard that right.

Tam's fingers were flying on my cowl. I quickly brought my hands up to try and catch them before she triggered the safeguards that were in place to prevent me from being unmasked out in the field. "Stop it! You'll shock yourself!"

"I don't care! Take it OFF!"

"Tam, QUIT IT!"

"NO!"

"GOD DAMN IT!" I had no hope of stopping Tam outright. Trying to catch hands that could play the Flight of the Bumblebee in under a minute and a half was like trying to catch live minnows with your bare hands. It just wasn't going to happen. So I managed to worm my fingers under hers to somehow disengage the safeguards. Once that was done, she had my cowl pulled off in no time flat. The heavy black cape went along with it, rushing over my face as Tam's weight disappeared from my midsection. I quickly got to my feet before the cape had completely fallen away. The wind blew my hair into my face haphazardly as I stared at the woman in front of me in shock.

"What are you doing?" I yelled at Tamara. I would've said more, but when I got a good look at her, everything I was about to say about secret identities, masks, and other safety related issues died on my tongue. She stood there, one hand curled into a fist that rested on her hip and the other clutching my purloined cape and cowl with a white-knuckled death-grip. Her previously immaculate hair was in semi-disarray from the scuffle of removing my mask, and her brown eyes were blazing with a defiant fury I'd never seen in them before. Yes, everything I had been about to say to her in my own shock and frustration had been deleted and overwritten with one overriding, stupidly male thought.

Damn, she's hot when she's mad...

"What am I doing?" she growled. "What are YOU doing?"

I frowned. "Tam," I started as gently as I could. "I told you..."

She shook her head angrily. "No, no, no, no, no! This... Us... You are not going to end it all between us like this!"

"Like this?" I was confused. What was she talking about?

Tam squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "You do NOT get to hide behind a damned mask and tell me in THAT voice that it's all over." The hand that clenched my cowl tightened before she flung it hard to the ground at her feet. Later, I'd learn that her nails had actually managed to dig sizable grooves into the sturdy material. When she opened her eyes to stare me down again, they were shining with unshed tears, but everything else about her expression was still absolutely furious towards me. "If you want to walk away from me, if you want me out of your life so badly, then you are going to tell me to me face to face!"


	3. To Watch the Sunrise Chapter 2 Tim POV

I know I must have paled. I could literally feel the blood rush from my face as her words hit home. The carefully practiced explanations, the meticulously collected, logical reasons that I'd gathered together to justify pushing Tam away suddenly felt just out of reach. "Tam..." I started in a pained tone, but it was difficult to continue. There were other words I wanted to say to her... Words that would completely sabotage everything I was trying to accomplish that night... But stubbornly I choked them back and forced myself to stick to the bits of the script I could remember from earlier. I averted my gaze, closing my eyes and turning my face away from her. "Being around me is too dangerous... You'll become a target... It'll get you hurt... or killed..."

"Why does that matter now?"

Cautiously, I opened my eyes to look at her. Tam looked calmer, but definitely still angry. "Why?" I echoed hesitantly.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" She closed her eyes. Before I could answer her, she shook her head. "No… Not when you woke up after we'd both been captured by the League of Shadows. The 'real' first time." The cowl she'd been practically strangling and had thrown down moments before was now picked up and being held close to her chest, like she would a stuffed animal. Something for comfort. Her voice was strained as she brought to the surface what was clearly a painful memory. "The first time I ever saw you was in a uniform similar to this, only it was ripped to shreds, and you were lying on a bed soaked in enough of your own blood, that I was certain you were dead." Her embrace around the cape and cowl tightened. "And then the world exploded with ninjas and assassins and that was how I really first met you."

We'd never talked much about those weeks when we first met. It had been a really bad time for both of us. I'd always just assumed that Ra's men had grabbed her from the hotel the night they found me, to use her as leverage. I never realized she had been in the same room as me that night I was almost killed by an assassin sent by the Council of Spiders.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that even from the very beginning there's always been danger in our lives from time to time. I just... I don't understand why now you decide that your life is too dangerous for me to be a part of..."

" _You're my best friend, and the people close to me always get hurt or killed,"_ I thought to myself as she spoke.

"I thought... We've become so close over the years..."

" _I need you to be safe. I'm doing this to protect you…"_

"Even knowing the work you do and the dangers that come with it, whenever I'm with you I feel safe..."

" _I love you, Tam."_

"I love you, Tim."

For a moment, I wondered if there was an echo in my mind. Then I realized that what I thought was an echo was actually spoken out loud, but not by me. I looked up at Tamara feeling dazed as she looks back at me, the tears finally falling. Despite how close we both had become, especially over the last few weeks, neither of us had actually spoken those significant three words to the other.

I struggled to make my brain work. _"She loves me?"_ I wanted to say something, anything, but the words just wouldn't come out. It was all ones and zeros in there. "Tamara," I murmured finally, reaching out to her slowly.

But she pulled away a step, out of my reach.

"Tim," she said as she wiped away some of the tears from her face. "I know you're afraid of me being hurt. That I might even be killed by the things you fight every day…

"I know this because I'm afraid too, all the time, for you."

My heart clenched, and a lump rose in my throat.

"Every time I listen to the news and hear of some horrible monster prowling the city, I worry if you're the one hunting it. Whenever there's a catastrophe that needs a whole army to save the day, I wonder if you're there with them. When you have to leave in the middle of a date to take care of 'business', I watch you walk away and think about how that might be the last time I'll ever see you."

Tam struggled to hold it together. She was trying so hard to put up a strong front, and it killed me to see how much she fought not to break down. If I didn't already feel guilty before about the things I said earlier that night, I did so now in spades. She was silent for a moment as she recollected herself with carefully measured breaths. When she lifted her head to look at me, she was trying to glaring daggers again. I understood the feeling all too well. When things are spiraling out of control emotionally, at least indulging in anger lets you have the illusion that you've got some semblance of a hold on things. That you're not just being swept away with the current.

"I don't understand what you're thinking, Tim! After how we first met, after everything we've been through together, why the hell are you pushing me away now? What's changed? Me? You? What? Damn it! Make me understand!"

Her rapid fire assault of questions did it. I gave up trying to analyze the situation, to try to think of the best thing to say or the best way to react. I gave up thinking altogether and just let instinct take over.

Before she even had a chance to realize what was happening, before she could try to move out of my reach, I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her in close. I swallow her startled gasp as I captured her lips with mine. Crushing her body hard against me, I kissed her completely unrestrained. All my longings, all my passion, all the deep hungry feelings I felt in my heart for her I tried to convey in that one kiss. Only when both our lungs were starved for air did I finally pull my lips from hers. Still without a word, running purely on impulse, I rested my forehead gently against hers, my eyes still closed as I held her tightly to me.

"I love you, Tam," I whispered to her. "With all my heart. That's what's changed."

I bowed my head for a second kiss. This was the tender kiss I wanted to truly burn into our memories. As my lips drank slowly, deeply of hers, I told her exactly how much I loved her. How I wished I could share the rest of my life with her. That I would do anything and everything within my power to protect her. Even if that meant saying…

"Goodbye."

Before I could second guess myself, before Tam could have a chance to say anything in protest, I tore myself completely away from her arms. Numbly, I slipped my cowl and cape back over my head as I made a beeline for the edge of the roof once more, gathering up my nearly forgotten grappling gun along the way. Again I wasn't thinking. I was running on autopilot as I sent my line flying into the darkness and swung out into the night away from her.

I don't know how far I'd gone when I finally lost all my steam. My arms ached and my lungs burned. Everything hurt as I stumbled to a stop there on the rooftop of a cathedral miles away from where I'd started. After nearly slipping off the steeple I'd landed on, I tucked myself into the shadow of one of the gargoyles guarding the tall spires of the century old building and sat there in heartsick misery.

"I'm sorry, Tam… I'm so sorry."

An hour, maybe two, passed there at the cathedral. The chatter on the com link was oddly quiet, but I was too immersed in my own guilt-ridden, downtrodden mood to care. Then, seemingly out of thin air, I heard the sound of a very familiar set of boots land with confidence on the spire directly behind me. I didn't have to look up to know who it was.

"Evening Bruce."


	4. To Watch the Sunrise Chapter 3 Tim POV

After my initial greeting, there was a long moment of silence…

Really long…

Uncomfortably long…

It was the kind of long that meant one of two things with Bruce, depending on how he approached you. If he kept his mask on, it meant you screwed up somewhere on the job, and he was getting ready to dress you down. The long silence was tactical, psychological warfare, to get you sweating about everything you've done in the last forty-eight hours to try and figure out where you might've slipped up before he even opens his mouth. However, if he decided to take his mask off, then the silence was a sign of his own hesitation, because he wasn't going to talk to you as "Batman," but as "Bruce Wayne."

In the back of my mind I was sort of hoping for the dressing down. A small part of me went, _"Aw crap,"_ when he started to pull his cowl away from his face.

"Tim," he said. "We need to talk."

With a sigh, I went ahead and removed my own cowl. If there were any cameras in the area, he'd already have them taken care of. "About what?" I asked with an air of forced indifference.

"Tamara Fox."

Any thoughts I'd been entertaining about treating this father-son moment with an appropriate amount of mostly silent brooding went out the window. "What about her?" I asked, trying to stifle the defensive tone that wanted to creep into my voice.

"I know what happened between you two tonight."

I stared at him blankly, a small feeling of dread coiling in the pit of my stomach. "What do you mean?"

"At some point tonight you 'lost' your cowl. When that happened, the com link was turned on."

"Shit," I said ineloquently as I buried my face in my hands. "Shit, shit, shit, shit." Though I couldn't see for myself, I was certain that I was probably turning a shade of red to match my uniform. "Who heard?"

"Barbara and Stephanie," he confirmed. "The com patched in straight to Oracle. They told me because they were worried about you."

Learning that Babs had heard my ordeal wasn't that bad, all things considered. Learning that Steph had heard, though… If dying of embarrassment were possible, I would've been six feet under already. However, since dying wasn't an option, all I could do was laugh.

"Great. So my ex got to listen to me personally torpedo my relationship with Tam. Wonderful. Just wonderful."

"Tim," Bruce started, but paused as he tried to figure out what exactly to say.

"You don't have to say anything, Bruce," I said. "I know what I did was for the best. She's better off without me. I did the right thing."

"Did you?"

That wasn't the kind of response I would expect from Bruce. "How can you say that?" I asked incredulously. "You, Batman, of all people?"

Bruce sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "If I were talking to you as Batman right now, then I might be inclined to agree with what you did tonight."

"I don't understand. If you're not talking to me as Batman right now, then who are you?"

His expression softened. "Right now, I'm talking to you as your father."

Over the last couple of years, I'd noticed a change in Bruce. Dick has as well. It used to be that the side of him that was "the dark knight" was his real persona. His identity of Bruce Wayne was nothing more than a mask, an illusion, an act. Of course, even now the side most people see on television or in gossip magazines is still the fake one. However, the man unmasked before me right now… I know that this man is the real Bruce Wayne.

"So what does my father have to say?"

Dealing with emotional issues, especially in regards to relationships, was never a strong suit of his, so it takes a moment for him to find the right words for what he wants to express. He chooses them very carefully.

"He wonders… why wanting to be with someone you love has become the wrong choice for you."

"Bruce, you heard what I said to Tam."

He nodded. "Yes I did. Now I want to hear the truth." Settling in for the long haul, my father took a seat on the arched back of the gargoyle whose shadow I was hiding in. "Tamara made a very good argument, which you never really addressed."

I leaned my back against the cold stone gargoyle and listened to the sound made by Bruce's cape as it was tossed around by the wind. It was a comforting sound.

"Why, Tim? What made you decide now was the time to push her away?"

"I've been having nightmares," I finally admitted. "For the last several months now. And before you ask, no, I haven't crossed paths with the Scarecrow recently."

"What kind of nightmares?"

"They're of the night my father died… Well… Sort of…"

Years ago, when I first became Robin, I had both my mother and father. They were alive, well, and had no idea that I'd figured out the real identities of Batman and the original Robin in my spare time. First my mother was murdered, then my father. The main difference between the deaths of my parents is that while my mother was killed outside of the country and I was in no position to stop it, I was literally minutes too late to save the life of my father. I was the first one to find his still warm body lying in an endless pool of his own blood in the middle of our home.

Bruce doesn't say anything. He knows. He remembers that night. He was there with me. Instead, he waits for me to elaborate, which I do.

"The nightmare always starts off like it did that night," I said quietly. "I'm in the car with you, and we're speeding through Gotham. But instead of hearing my dad's voice over the com link, I'm hearing Tam's. The criminals who have her or are chasing her are always different, but the end of the nightmare is always the same." I couldn't repress the shudder as I remembered some of the psychopaths from my dreams. "Two-Face… Zsasz… Hush… Scarecrow… Croc… Bane… Ra's…"

"…Joker?"

I nodded. I wasn't sure if I could've mentioned the Joker by name. The nightmares involving him were always the worst. Though I would never _(could never)_ admit it to Bruce, waking up from those particularly horrific visions meant suddenly regaining consciousness in the process of having massive panic attacks.

"I'm guessing the nightmares have been getting worse lately?"

"Yeah."

"And you thought that by pushing Tamara out of your life, you could somehow protect her from being harmed by our enemies?"

"I thought so. Logically, it made sense."

"You don't sound quite as certain as that."

I bit my bottom lip before responding. "I believed I was doing the right thing when I first told Tam that we couldn't see each other anymore."

"So what happened?"

I felt the color rise in my face again.

"Tim?"

"She… sorta... um…" I muttered before taking a deep breath and spitting out the rest of the explanation as quickly as possible. "..grabbed-me-by-the-cape-tackled-me-and-pulled-my-cowl-off." I cringed. Saying it out loud sounded just as pathetic as it did in my head before I opened my mouth.

Bruce sat there in silence for a long moment on the gargoyle. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, for fear of what I'd see in his eyes. Then I heard a rare noise that made my ears burn the moment the sound reached them.

His laughter.

It started off with a really decent attempt at a suppressed snicker. Unfortunately, it quickly fell apart from there. I let it go for a few minutes, but then got annoyed with my father.

"Bruce!" I complained, blatantly ignoring how much my voice sounded like a whining teenager at that moment and glared at him as best I could.

"Heh-heh. I'm sorry, Tim," he said as he caught his breath. "It's just… The thought of Tamara bringing you down…" After one last chuckle, Bruce had calmed enough that I was finally able to continue with my explanation of the earlier evening's confrontation. By the end of my story, my father had a contemplative expression on his face, and I felt no less uncertain of my actions than I did when I first landed on this rooftop.

"I did do the right thing, didn't I?"

He looked at the distant horizon thoughtfully before closing his eyes. "Do you remember the crisis with Darkseid several years go?"

"Of course I do. How could I ever forget. Everyone thought you were dead, except me."

"Well, though I didn't actually die, right before Darkseid's Omega Sanction beam hit me, I did have one of those moments where your whole life flashes before your eyes. Do you know what I saw?"

I gave him a quizzical look and shook my head.

He smiled wryly. "A lot of what-ifs."

"What-ifs?"

"They weren't about my life as Batman," he clarified. "But about my life as Bruce Wayne. What if I had allowed myself to become closer to women I loved? What if I had been more a father to you and your brothers when you all were younger? What if I'd actually worked to create a worthwhile life for my real identity, instead of just wearing the mask of the shallow wealthy playboy?" He chuckled morosely. "What if I actually took more of Alfred's advice to heart over the years?" Bruce sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that in that moment where I was allowed to take stock of everything I'd accomplished in my life, while Batman had left a lasting impression and had done a lot of good work, the same couldn't be said of Bruce Wayne."

There was a bitter edge in Bruce's voice, and though I felt like I was on just the verge of understanding what he was trying to say, the clear meaning eluded me. "I don't understand," I said hesitantly. "As Bruce Wayne, you've had Wayne Enterprises do a lot of good for the city—"

"For the city, yes, and the rest of the world," Bruce interrupted. Then he looked at me pointedly. "But not for my family. Not for myself or my own legacy as the man, the individual, behind the mask."

His expression softened, and for the first time in a long while, I could see the years that had grown on my father. Bruce wasn't a young man anymore. I'd always known that, but I suppose it never really sunk in how old he was until that moment. Deep lines etched his face, and even in the moonlight I could catch glints of silver strands starting to pepper his dark hair. I startled myself a little when I suddenly realized that I didn't even know what his actual age was.

"You asked me if you did the right thing with Tam tonight," he said, interrupting my train of thought before I started computing numbers in my head. Then he shook his head. "I can't say one way or the other if it was the 'right thing' or not. When it comes to relationships, I really am probably the last person you should be asking for advice. You'd be better off talking to Clark or one of the Allen men. What I can tell you, though, is that I don't want you to make the same missteps I did and end up where I am now." Bruce placed his hand on my shoulder. It was warm, comforting, and strong. "If a chance for happiness outside of the masks and the missions presents itself to you, as your father it's my wish that you seriously consider taking it. Don't let fears and doubts derail something that could bring great joy to your life."

Bruce's words washed over the ache in my heart like a salve. "Man," I murmured as I leaned back against the gargoyle, eyes closed. "Now I really wish I'd come to you first, instead of trying to figure all this out on my own." I almost smiled as I felt my father's hand pat my shoulder reassuringly before it lifted to take a call that was coming in from Oracle. While he spoke to Babs in hushed tones, I sat thinking about Tam and what I should do next. Did I want to try repairing the bridge I'd taken such pains to burn tonight? Could I ignore my nightmares and set aside my fears to embrace a future with her? Would she even want to see me after what I put her through tonight?

Unfortunately, the Fates decided to take the choice out of my hands. Bruce… no, Batman came up and interrupted my train of thought. "Get your cowl on! We need to move, now!"

The tone broached no argument, and I was on my feet and had my mask on immediately. "What's going on?"

"Dick and Damian were on Croc's trail," he said as he pulled out his grappling gun. "He took a hostage before escaping into the sewers." Batman looked at me grimly. "He's got Tam."


	5. To Watch the Sunrise Chapter 4 Tim POV

As Batman and I left the rooftops to reach his car, he got me caught up on the situation with Killer Croc. Dick and Damian had found Croc hiding out in Grant Park. In the process of trying to escape my brothers, Croc smashed up the first taxi cab that had been driving through the heavily wooded park, killed the driver, and grabbed its lone passenger as a hostage.

Tam had called a cab to take her home after the piano bar had closed, just like she always did. Her apartment was in a building that overlooked the park. She'd gotten the place because she loved the view from her balcony, especially at daybreak.

It killed me to know that despite everything I put her through _(put us through)_ to try and make her life safer, in the end it didn't matter one bit. All it took was her going about her normal routine to set her on a collision course with Killer Croc.

No.

It wasn't her normal routine.

On the normal routine, if I hadn't done what I did, I would've secretly followed her home from rooftops and shadows, just to make sure she got there safe.

Of course, when I started blaming myself, Bruce made sure to cut me off before the guilt could take root. He reminded me that with Killer Croc on the loose I would've gone to help my brothers with the hunt. I would've still been away from her. She would've still taken the cab home, alone.

Leave it to one of the criminally insane psychopaths who menace in Gotham City to inadvertently teach me how critically flawed I was in my reasons for breaking up with Tam. It doesn't matter who you are, who you love, what you do for a living, or how much you try to do the right thing. If the darker side of Gotham really wants to hurt you, if it really wants to take something precious away, its demons will almost always find their marks.

Sometimes, I really hated this city.

"Robin, calm down," Batman's voice commanded sternly. "If there was ever a time to detach yourself from a situation, now is the—"

"This isn't just a situation!" I yelled at him inside the Batmobile as we tore through the streets of Gotham at breakneck speeds. "This is Tam being held hostage by a monster who routinely EATS his victims! I CAN'T detach!" Behind my cowl, I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in trembling hands. "I can't," I repeated in a small, muffled voice. This was literally one of my worst nightmares coming true, and it was taking every ounce of self control I still possessed to try and hold back the debilitating panic attack that threatened to overwhelm me. My heart rate was going way too fast, my stomach was twisted up in knots, and I knew I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Tam will be alright, Tim." Barbara's comforting voice came out of the com link on the dashboard. "Dick and Damian are in pursuit of Croc, and as long as he knows they're hot on his heels, he won't hurt her."

"You mean he won't kill her," I muttered as I recalled some of the more horrific aspects of my nightmares involving Tam and Killer Croc. "Killing and hurting are two entirely different things."

"Tim," Bruce's voice reached out to me. "I know you're worried, but Tamara needs you to be at your best right now. You're no good to her like this."

"I know, Bruce… I know…" I murmured weakly before lifting my head and taking a few measured breaths. Then, my eyes still closed, I began going through some of the meditative techniques I'd been taught over the years to try and force myself into some sort of calmer state.

Any sort of calmer state.

When we finally reached our destination the shakes had stopped and I was breathing easier, though the anxiety was still there lingering under the surface. At the very least, I could give off the general impression of being calm and collected, so long as no one looked too closely.

Running through the park was a man-made creek that doubled as a drainage area for when heavy rainfalls threatened to flood the city. The creek began and ended at tunnels which would lead to the old underground drainage system beneath Gotham. The system of tunnels once used to keep the city from flooding during heavy rainfalls was as old as Gotham itself. They were more like archaic catacombs than the more modern sewage and drainage system that eventually replaced it after the days of No Man's Land. This was the labyrinth that Killer Croc was trying to lose my brothers in.

They weren't going to lose him. In the scuffle they had before he'd taken Tam hostage, Damian had managed to get a tracer embedded in the monster's thick, scaly hide. Babs had been tracking him ever since. Now the plan was for the four of us to pin Croc down. The monster knew that the local bat and bird vigilantes were chasing his tail. He wouldn't expect that another set of winged crime fighters would be setting up an ambush ahead of him. And it didn't take long at all for Bruce and me to get into position in the near pitch dark tunnel that Croc was about to enter.

I could feel my muscles tensing as I heard Croc's heavy footsteps and deep, gutteral breaths hurrying towards my location, tucked away within one of the alcoves that lined the sides of the tunnel. Bruce was hidden behind a large pile of rubble from a collapsed portion of the same immediately across from me. Any of the anxiety and fear I felt before when Bruce first told me about Tam's capture had been replaced by a silent smoldering anger as the massive escaped convict entered my field of vision. With the night vision lenses in my cowl, I could see the murderous brute clear as day. He kept tossing nervous glances behind him as he slowly moved closer and closer. My heart leapt to my throat when I saw the limp, unmoving figure of a woman draped across one shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Tam," I mouthed silently despite myself as my grip tightened on my collapsed staff. Killer Croc turned around fully, unknowingly exposing his back to us while trying to keep a look out for his known pursuers. My heart and stomach flip-flopped inside me once more as I finally got my first clear look at Tam.

She was alive!

Though it was obvious she was trying to give off the impression that she was passed out with how limply she kept her body, Tam was biting her bottom lip and her desperate eyes were open and focused on—something? I followed the line from her eyes to her hands, which were straining to reach for something on Croc's back. I narrowed my gaze and turned on the telescopic feature of my lenses. Zooming in, it still took me a moment to figure out what she was reaching for.

A batarang?

It was one of Damian's batarangs!

Despite having tempered down his lethal assassin's nature over the years as Robin, the young teen still sharpened his bladed weapons to an precision surgical edge. For the first time, I was immeasurably thankful for that. Whereas the normally throwing weapons the rest of us carried would've just bounced or glanced off of Croc's tough, scaly hide, Damian's could actually pierce it.

And now, Tam was trying to reach for one of them! There were severally embedded in Croc's back, but the closest one was just barely within reach. I watched as Tam brushed the tips of her fingers repeatedly against the batwing shape, but she just couldn't get any purchase on it. I could see the anxious frustration written all over her face. I had no idea what she wanted to do with the batarang if she could get a hold of it, but if being armed helped her escape Croc's grasp, I was all for it.

I noticed Bruce move out of the corner of my eye. As silent as a ghost, he moved within the shadows of the large tunnel and the rubble that cluttered it to circle around Croc. My breath caught in my throat when I saw Tam freeze, her hand flinched back away from the weapon she'd been reaching for. I thought it was because of something Croc did, some twitch or shift in his grasp that I couldn't perceive, but then I noticed the movement of her eyes. She was tracking my father!

Somehow, in the near pitch darkness, she'd spotted him. Her expression was confused and wary. Most likely she couldn't tell who or even what she was looking at. All she knew was that someone else was moving around in this tunnel besides them. Then, as she turned her head slowly to scan the rest of the area, her gaze caught mine. Tam's eyes narrowed as she peered in into the darkness. Then they widened in surprise. My chest tightened as I saw her silently mouth a single word.

" _Tim?"_

"Croc!" Bruce's menacing voice cut through the thick silence, echoing off the walls. "Put the girl down, NOW!"

Killer Croc whipped his head around sharply, growling as he tried unsuccessfully to pinpoint the source of the voice. "Keep your distance, Bat! You know what'll happen if you or your bird boy gets too close!" He shifted his grip on Tam, moving her more solidly on his shoulder. However, this ended up putting her right where she needed. He'd put the batarang right in her hand. As soon as that happened, all hell broke loose.

Tam's focus shifted immediately once she felt the metal weapon press into her palm. Ignoring the sharp edge cutting into her skin, she grabbed it as tight as she was able to and pulled it out of Croc's flesh with all her might. Croc snarled in pain as he pulled her off his shoulder.

"You little bitch!" he roared, grabbing her by her left arm with one hand and holding her inches away from his maw of jagged teeth.

Tam flinched when Croc brought her face to face with him, eyes closed tight and frozen with fear.

"CROC! PUT HER DOWN!" Bruce yelled.

"OR WHAT, BAT?" Croc turned his gaze away from Tam. As soon as his attention was turned away from her, Tam acted as fast as she could. She brought up her right hand, the batarang held tight within her clenched fist and dripping with her own blood.

Her captor noticed the movement, but recognized the danger too late. Croc turned to glare at his hostage just in time to see the sharp point of the weapon come straight down into his left eye!

As Croc roared in pain, he threw Tam away so that his hands were free to claw at projectile now embedded deeply in his eye socket. Her terrified scream was cut off abruptly when her body collided with the tunnel wall and she crumpled to the floor beneath it. Heedless of Croc, I rushed to her side while two bats and a robin exploded from the shadows to take the murderous thrashing creature down.

"Tam," I said as I knelt by her side. "Oh god, Tam. Please be alright." The relief I felt surge through my body was immense as she raised her hand to her head with a groan of pain.

"Ti—" she whispered hoarsely before catching herself. "Robin? Is that you?" Tam reached out to me weakly. With my right hand, I gently grasped hers while with the left I smoothed her hair from her face, trying to see if she'd received any serious injuries.

"I'm here, Tam. I'm right here. Everything will be alright. Just stay with m-"

Suddenly, I heard a cry of pain and I looked back just in time to see Damian's small frame come flying right at us. Reflexively, I shielded Tam with my body as my youngest brother collided with the same wall she had. Damian immediately tried to get back on his feet, a litany of curses tumbling from his bloodied lips in his native tongue. Unfortunately, with another waspish curse, he stumbled backwards and only by leaning against the wall was he able to stay upright.

My eyes narrowed as I turned my attention to Killer Croc as he fought against my father and eldest brother. "Stay with Tam," I ordered Damian as I extended my staff. If the thirteen year old spat anything out at me in response, I didn't hear it. The entire night had been a near total nightmare, and I, for one, wanted it to be over with a seething, bloodthirsty intensity.

So focused was Croc on the two Batmen he was fighting, that he didn't even realize a third party was entering the fray. I flanked him on his brand new blind side and rebounded off a nearby wall to give the kick I drove into the injured side of his skull some added momentum. The blow caught him way off guard, and it provided a great opening for Bruce and Dick to capitalize on. But as close as the two of them were to subduing the monster, I was nowhere near done.

The more I looked at Croc, the more I was reminded of what could have happened. The reality of Tam's kidnapping mingled with the memories of my nightmares and how narrowly those horrible visions could have come true.

He hurt Tam!

I almost lost her!

She could have been killed!

Those thoughts fed my blinding rage as I drove my shoulder right into Croc's midsection with unrestrained force and a primal snarl. I couldn't help savoring his guttural scream of agony as I forced him hard against the crumbling brick wall, knowing full well I'd driven some of Damian's embedded batarangs deeper into his back. Still seeing red, I had no intention of stopping, even as he slumped to the ground, completely unconscious. There was no way I was going to let that monster threaten Tam or anyone else ever again! I took my staff, extended the hidden blade, and aimed the narrow point squarely at Croc's skull, fully intending to drive it straight through the bone.


	6. To Watch the Sunrise Chapter 5 Tim POV

"Red! Stop!" Dick yelled as I felt two sets of strong arms trying desperately to restrain me.

I struggled to free myself, straining against the iron grips of my family. "Let me go!" I growled in a voice that didn't sound like myself.

"Red Robin! Enough!" Bruce ordered as he quickly disarmed me. He had to kick the staff away when I slipped from Dick's grasp and attempted to lunge for it. Then he pulled me hard and turned me to face him, his expression stern and commanding. "That is enough!"

"He would have killed her!"

"Tam's alive!"

"She would have died! She would have never come back! Just like mom! Just like dad! Just like everyone _normal_ I've ever loved! That we've all ever loved! When those people die, they NEVER come back! YOU KNOW THIS!"

"Tim? Tim, please stop."

When I heard Tam's voice, I finally stopped fighting against my father and brother. She was walking unsteadily towards me, holding her injured hand close to her chest. Her eyes were focused only on me, and she was pointedly ignoring Damian as he tried unsuccessfully to persuade her to sit back down. The sight of her struggling just to stay upright cut me to the quick.

"Tam," I said as my rage bled away. Bruce and Dick cautiously let me go, and as soon as I was free I moved past them and the still unconscious Croc to go straight to her. "Tam, you're hurt. Please stop—"

Words failed me as she stepped into me, resting her head against my shoulder and leaning her body against mine. She was trembling. I could feel it as I wrapped my arms around her. Whether it was from pain or fear or something else, I couldn't tell.

"I'm here, Tim. I'm right here." She lifted her good hand to stroke the exposed skin of my cheek in a soothing gesture. Tears filled her eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks. "You don't have to kill him. Please don't cross that line."

My throat tightened uncomfortably. All I could do was hold her and comfort her as best as I could even as she tried to comfort me. "I just don't want to lose you," I whispered. "I can't-"

"Then don't push me away."

In response, I gently gathered her up in my arms. Tam attempted a weak protest, but once she was off her feet she relaxed against me with relief, letting her eyes slide closed. There was no doubt in my mind that she was in a lot of pain and probably suffering from shock after everything she'd been through.

"Take the car and get her to the Tower," Bruce said in a subdued tone. "I'll call Leslie and have her meet you both there."

I nodded and proceeded to make my way out of the drainage tunnels back to where we first entered. Before I was out of earshot, I overheard Dick as he posed a question to Bruce.

"Did something happen between those two?"

#

In Bruce's car, it didn't take long at all to reach Wayne Tower. Tam faded in and out of consciousness along the drive. Though she was alive, and I didn't think her life was in any immediate danger from her injuries, I was still worried sick.

As he'd promised, Leslie was there waiting for us, along with Alfred. Rather than just treat her there in the bunker, the good doctor insisted that she be taken upstairs to a guestroom that Alfred had prepared for her. Once I'd laid Tam down on the bed, Leslie shooed me out of the room so she could conduct her examination. I didn't go far though. Wearily, I removed my cape and cowl, sat down right next to the closed door, and leaned my back against the wall. I think I might've dozed off for a few minutes, because the next thing I knew, the aroma of a hot coffee was waking me up.

"Miss Fox will be alright, Master Timothy," Alfred said with his patented reassuring manner as he offered me one of two mugs that were on his tray. "She is in good hands now."

I took it with a grateful murmur of thanks. "I know, Alfie. I know Leslie will take good care of her."

"Then, if you do not mind me asking, why do you still look so concerned?"

"Because Croc wasn't the only one who hurt Tam tonight," I admitted guiltily. "I did too. I broke her heart trying to push her out of my life earlier this evening, to keep her safe, but in the end it didn't matter at all. She still got hurt. I still couldn't protect her."

"Oh good grief. Has Bruce's thick-headedness about love infected all his boys?" Leslie's no-nonsense voice cut off whatever Alfred seemed on the verge of saying. The door opened fully and the silver-haired doctor stepped out. She gave me a scolding, maternal look and reflexively I tried to melt into the wall away from her

It didn't work.

With an exasperated sigh, Leslie knelt down so that she and I were on the same level. "Timothy, dear… I've told this to Bruce. I've told this to Dick. I know you're the smart Robin, so I'm hoping with you this will actually sink in this time. I want you to listen closely and not interrupt. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. So listen well. Over the years I've noticed a type of woman that the men in your family tend to attract. They're strong, independent, resilient, and usually pretty fearless about speaking their minds." Leslie's eyes narrowed. "What they're certainly not are fragile little delicate porcelain dolls that need to be tucked away in an ivory tower to protect them from the evils of the world. If you treat them like that, you're being an idiot."

She looked back through the open door into Tam's room. "Strong women who fall in love with men like you don't want a protector. They want a partner who'll love and respect them as their equal."

Leslie got to her feet and turned to Alfred to retrieve the remaining cup of coffee on the tray. She took a quick sip before turning her attention back to me. "If you love Tamara as much as she loves you, shouldn't you be fighting as hard as she is to stay by her side? It's a masochistic hypocrite who strives so hard to make this world a better place while consciously sabotaging his own life's happiness in the process."

Then she sighed and shook her head. Her posture shifted and I could tell from her body language that she was done with her blunt lecture. "Tamara has a mid-grade concussion, some severe bruising on her torso, and several deep lacerations on her right hand. Once it's healed, with therapy she should regain full use. She's also suffering from shock and has some amnesia about what happened to her in the tunnels. She needs her rest, but she wants to see you. Don't upset her, or else."

And with that, Dr. Leslie Thompkins took her coffee and walked down the hallway towards the living room. I stared after her for a long moment.

"Wow…" I said as I raked my fingers through my hair.

"Wow?"

I looked at Alfred with a contrite expression. "I think Leslie just took a few whacks at my skull with a fully loaded cluebat."

The grandfatherly old man looked at me curiously. "Has it helped?"

"Between that and the talk I had with Bruce earlier, I think it all has."

"So what will you do now?"

"Well," I started with a sigh as I turned to go through the door to Tam's room. "There is one more person I think I need to have a long, long conversation with, but that can wait till later. For now, I just want to watch over her for the rest of the night."

"Don't you mean the rest of the morning?"

"Huh?"

Alfred glanced at the watch on his wrist. "It's nearly daybreak, Master Timothy. The sun should be rising any minute now."

I gave him a small, thoughtful smile. "Perhaps, I'll open the drapes in her room. After being in the dark all night, it might be nice to let a little light in."


	7. Epilogue

It wasn't often that I took missions that would send me off world for any reasonable length of time. They certainly didn't happen when working with the Outsiders. However, when I was asked by the Titans to help them with some trouble in another sector of the galaxy alongside the Green Lanterns, I couldn't resist the temptation. The work was interesting for about the first week. Then the homesickness made the following two weeks not so much. Exploring alien worlds and traveling across the vast endlessness of space with some of my best friends was fun and all, but in the end I really missed Earth, normal gravity, and being able to sleep in my own bed at night, among other things.

About half an hour before sunrise I finally made my way back home. Conner, Cassie, and Bart were nice enough to give me a lift back to my place in the T-Jet.

"Don't you dare forget to call us later," Bart said from the pilot's seat as they hovered the stealthed jet well above the building I called home.

"I won't, I won't," I repeated for the umpteenth time while trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.

Cass gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. "Take care of yourself."

"Ditto," I said with a small smile. Then I gave the pair a parting wave before letting myself fall backwards out of the open door and into the cool pre-dawn air. I enjoyed a few seconds of free falling before flaring out my cape and gliding the rest of the way down. Conner flew down alongside me.

"Y'know, I could've flown you down to the building myself."

"What would've been the fun in that?"

I landed on the balcony as quietly as I could. The city seemed to be enjoying a rare moment of quiet peace at this early hour, and I couldn't resist soaking it all in for a little bit.

"Oh darn. Does this mean I can't have the bed all to myself anymore?"

A broad smile stretched across my face I looked over my shoulder at the dark skinned, brown eyed beauty that was leaning against the open balcony doorway, dressed in her usual sleeping attire of a tank top and a pair of shorts. "Sorry love," I said unrepentantly. "The evil alien overlords decided that they didn't want to play with us anymore. Some nonsense about our games being too rough. So we had to pick up our toys and come home."

Tam laughed. Oh how I missed that sound. "Ah well. I guess I can learn how to share again," she said as she came up, slid back my mask, and gave me a welcome home kiss that I gladly returned in kind. "Morning, Conner," she said afterwards as she leaned against me, her arms wound comfortably around my neck.

Conner just grinned at the two of us. "Morning, Tam. Don't tell me you stayed up all night waiting for this loser to get home."

"If he didn't want me to wait up, he shouldn't have told me he'd be coming home tonight," she said matter-of-factly.

"Wait. I didn't tell you I'd be home tonight."

"Oh that's right. I asked Barbara." Tam smiled knowingly at me.

Conner laughed. "Alright you two. I'd better head back. Cass and Bart are waiting for me." He began to float up into the air.

Tam waved at him. "Tell them I said hi, and let Cassie know I still owe her a spa day out next time she's in town."

With a smile, Conner gave us a final parting salute and flew up to join the others in the T-Jet.

#

Two years. It was just a month shy of two years since that long, awful night in Gotham City. However, as horrible as that night had been for the both of us, it was ultimately the catalyst that brought us to where we were today.

When Tam had recovered from her shock, and was well enough to move around, I took her to the original Batcave beneath Wayne Manor. It was still in mothballs back then, but it seemed the perfect place to talk to Tam about us, my past, and our future. I finally explained to her the whole complete truth about why I was so scared of being together with her, and why I had been trying to push her away. I told her about how my parents died, how my friends died, and about how only some of them ever came back. I showed her the trophies and relics from so many of Batman and Robin's enemies, and more importantly I showed her the memorial cases that held the old uniforms.

"I love you so much, Tam," I had told her as we sat atop the head of the giant mechanical T-Rex, looking over everything in the cave. "And the thought of losing you to one of my enemies, because of my work, terrifies me. It's not just a fear that's all in my head. It's actually happened." I bowed my head as she slid closer to me, interlacing the fingers of her good hand with mine. "Sometimes, I wish I could just turn my back and walk away from all of this and live a normal life. No more capes. No more uniforms. No more masks. Just… just be me."

Tam had squeezed my hand. "But this is all a part of you. Even when you're not wearing the uniform, I can still see it in you, Tim." She released my hand to bring her fingertips to my forehead. "I can see it here." She moved her hand lower, to the place on my chest right over my heart and let it rest there. "And here."

My own hand came up to rest over hers, and I wondered if she could feel my heart beating beneath her palm. "Knowing who I am, what I do, the dangers and general bad luck that seems to follow me and people I care about… Even knowing all this, you still want me in your life? You still want to be a part of mine?"

Tam smiled at me in that reassuring way she had and nodded. "With all my heart."

I'd taken a deep breath and made a firm, conscious effort to squash the fears that tried to rise up and sabotage the moment she and I were having. Tam seemed to sense my discomfort and immediately set to work to distract me from the unpleasant emotion. She drew in close, brought her lips to mine, and for several solid minutes we made out right there on top of the T-Rex. Eventually the two of us just laid back to relax on the dinosaur head, Tam using me as a pillow, as we watched the bats flying around the cave.

"I really wish I could just put to bed all this anxiety I get whenever I feel like I'm getting closer to you," I admitted as I soothed myself with the intoxicating scent of her hair. "It's not so bad when I'm awake and with you right now like this, but when I try to sleep the nightmares make it impossible to get any rest these days."

"The nightmares are all of those different sociopaths that are constantly in and out of Arkham, right?"

I shrugged. "Except for a few, I guess most of them are."

Tam shifted to rest her head more comfortably on my shoulder. "Well, if that's the case, then why don't we just get rid of the source of the nightmares?"

"You know we can't do that, Tam. It's against the rules…"

"I don't mean killing them." I could hear the frown in her voice, and my curiosity was piqued.

"Are you talking about moving them somewhere else?"

Tam shook her head. "No, Tim. Simpler. The other way around." She lifted herself up on her arm to look at me directly. "Why don't we move?"

The obviousness of Tam's solution totally blew my mind. I kicked myself for not seeing it sooner. Why couldn't we leave Gotham and live together somewhere else? Somewhere far away from Arkham and even Blackgate for good measure. It's not like many of the native psychopaths here ever really left the city limits for long, even when they did escape. And aside from my family and friends, it wasn't like I had any other concrete ties to Gotham. My work with the Outsiders and the Titans kept me globe trotting half the year anyway.

Tam, of course, wasn't averse to moving at all. She was just finishing her senior year of college at Gotham U, and after everything she'd been through, she was more than willing to put this city and its demons in her rear view mirror. Especially, she assured me, if it meant we'd be leaving together.

I really shouldn't have been surprised to find out that Bruce already had a plan in motion when I came to him about relocating out of Gotham. That making me the leader of the Outsiders and forcing Red Robin to become a covert international operative was part of it was what really threw me for a loop, though. He'd been quietly working on this plan for years, the bastard, and I didn't have a clue.

"When it comes to people in our profession who want to have a chance at a normal life, this city is toxic," he'd explained. "And when I saw how close you and Tam were becoming, I wanted a contingency plan in place to give you the best chance possible for some semblance for a normal life with her, if you wanted it."

And so, for the first time in a long time, things fell into place that actually made life better. Tim Drake-Wayne was officially assigned to oversee operations in the Metropolis branch of WayneTech along with Tamara Fox after her graduation. We moved into a secluded penthouse apartment in the Mount Royal neighborhood, and started a life together far from the nightmares of Gotham City. By day, our lives were the picture of two young business professionals trying to take care of our families' respective legacies while staking our own claim of independence away from the nest. By night, I managed my Red Robin affairs, mainly with the Outsiders and occasionally with the Titans or Batman Inc.

The missions with my two groups normally took anywhere from several days to several weeks. Tam covered for me beautifully when I had to be out of town unexpectedly for extended periods of time. There was a catch, however... A compromise we agreed on when we first moved to Metropolis.

The nights that didn't belong to Outsiders, Titans, or Batman Inc. belonged solely to her. It was one of the reasons we chose to live in Metropolis. This city had more than enough heroes to take care of its local criminal population. Though every now and again Clark or Kara would hit me up for information or recon work, especially if it involved Luthor or LexCorps, regular patrols of my new hometown were not part of the job description anymore.

It was a compromise that was hard to deal with initially, as old habits do die hard, but now I liked it perfectly fine.

Tam made sure of that.

#

"Would you like a cup of coffee, love?" Tam asked after Conner and the others had flown off back towards the west coast. "Or would you prefer just to go to bed now?"

"Depends. Is sleeping mandatory or optional?"

Tam's smile was full of wicked promises.

God, I loved this woman.

We remained on the balcony a little while longer so that we could watch the sun rise over the shining Metropolis skyline together. However, the gleam of the sunlight off the metal and glass buildings of the city couldn't compare to the way the same light danced brilliantly within the diamond ring I slipped onto Tamara's finger in that same shared moment.

Fin.


End file.
